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Addicted to Unhappiness: Free Yourself from Moods and by Martha Heineman Pieper, William J. Pieper

By Martha Heineman Pieper, William J. Pieper

Drawing upon their years of counseling adventure, the bestselling writer group of Martha Heineman Pieper, Ph.D. and William J. Pieper, M.D. clarify how parenting types according to self-discipline and over the top expectancies situation kids to equate disappointment with love. This usually persists into maturity, resulting in behaviors together with consuming problems, compulsive playing, disastrous romantic offerings, substance abuse, and extra. This publication provides readers with robust instruments, together with self-assessments, checklists, diaries, and workouts, to beat their desire for sadness.

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Additional resources for Addicted to Unhappiness: Free Yourself from Moods and Behaviors That Undermine Relationships, Work, and the Life You Want

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Your parents (and, later, your teachers) may have believed that if you were to turn out well, they had to civilize you early and often. Most parents are taught that children will grow into adults who enact the same social behaviors they exhibit as children. They think that if an eight-year-old gets upset when he loses a game, he must be taught to be a good sport or else he will grow up to be a poor loser. Similarly, parents are misadvised that traits that are desirable in adults, such as generosity and responsibility, have to be taught early or they will never be learned.

We made clear that we were ready and willing to give her the assistance she needed. At first Judy had trouble believing that she could get help for herself without having to take care of us. Little by little, she became able to share her thoughts and feelings without worrying about the effect they would have on us. As she experienced the pleasure of having her own needs met, she felt increasingly less satisfied with her relationship with Tom. Finally, she concluded that she did not want to spend the rest of her life taking care of him without getting much in return.

But discipline harms children in the process of regulating them because it interferes with the most consistent and satisfying source of young children’s inner wellbeing—their conviction that they are causing their parents’ unconditional love of caring for them. For this reason, disciplining children makes them more miserable and less able to forgo their wishes. In contrast, loving regulation shows children that while they may have to give up a desired gratification, they can always rely on the pleasure available in the parent–child relationship.

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